Best Way to Take a Hurtful Word to Better Your Relationship


In my marriage, I’ve learned that when your spouse says something hurtful, you can take it either as personal or as information.

Taking it personally will magnify the size of your ego and deepen what is only supposed to be a shallow reason to be quarreling about.

But when you take it as information, it will magnify your understanding and willingness to know how to treat your spouse better that how you were treating him or her before. It will also, little by little, kill the ego that magnifies what is not supposed to be magnified. Some things must remain small.

For example, I don’t like lights to be turned on in any room in our house when no one is inside the room. There were times when my wife unintentionally forgot to switch off the light. If my wife would activate her superpower of transforming from a housewife to a houseradio and blurt, “And now you’re calculating everything and anything in this house?”, do you think that will solve any misunderstanding? No. It will just feed the destructive ego of each other.

But if my wife would take it as information to be able to see things through my eyes and say, “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. By the way, you’re a good-looking thing today!”, man, I’ll most likely call the househelper to open the gate ASAP because I am going buy her a new pair of shoes right there and then.

Couples, spouses, do I make sense?

For us, Catholics, today is the celebration of Christ the King. Is Jesus the king in our house?

There should be one major rule in every house: “Jesus Christ is the king, and you (husband and wife) are not Him.”

My wife and I are on top of a mountain right now, discerning how we can serve each other even better. Relationship is everything. That is a fact that is non-negotiable. If you will try to change that, might as well change the law of gravity. If relationship is everything, are you willing to do everything to have a blessed relationship? Answer in your heart.

Jaycee De Guzman

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