A few years ago, I’ve learned how to celebrate my self.
When I was in grade school and high school, I was terribly bullied. I did not want to play with anyone. If I did, instead of having fun, they would make fun of me. It was hell on earth.
Overtime, it developed this kind of mentality that I got to be super fantastic, uncanny, amazing, genius to be noticed, to fit in, to be worthy to be with. When I stepped in college, my motto was, “I got to get a 100% score in everything and anything. Otherwise, I’d rather be dead.” To me, a seatwork weighed the same as a final exam.
I lived with that motto for 4 years. Well, it worked! I got the attention I wanted. I got friends – when there were exams. I got friends – when there were group activities. I didn’t have to move an inch from my seat. I thought I was Magneto of X-Men. The moment they heard the teacher, “Class, form your group,” everyone ran towards me. Certainly, that kind of feeling filled the void in my spirit.
That level of attention continued when I stepped in the corporate world. Aggressive. Passionate. Do-or-die mentality. That’s how I and others viewed myself. I was overtaking people left and right. That means I was bagging the promotion and attention that they were also craving for. That was the time when I I realized that not everyone will celebrate you, especially when you’re overtaking people who are more tenure than you. Some people in the Philippines are still living with this mentality, “Papunta ka pa lang, pauwi na ako.” Never did they realize that it’s not about who went first. It is about what and how much gems did you pick-up on the road in your coming and going. I say this respectfully, some people are already approaching the sunset of their lives but they haven’t picked much gems in life yet (whatever gems mean to them). It struck me when I realized, “Wait a minute. All this time I’ve been giving my best so I could curve a definition for myself based on what other people think about me?”
I’ve realized that God has already defined me. Only the Creator can define His work. Can Apple define Samsung’s products? Apple can’t. Only Samsung can. Whether people will give me a warm round of applause or not, I am still the fearfully and wonderfully made Jaycee De Guzman in the eyes of God.
Fast forward, I liked the succession of events. I’d say everything in life is well-orchestrated by God. You see, I hated the bullying for a decade. But that thing that I hated acted as the catalyst for the enhancement of my intellect, mindset, and outlook in life. If I were not bullied for 10 years, would I have had the fuel to excel in an extraordinary way? If I didn’t have the phobia in being the centerpiece of other people’s jokes, would I have developed a strong self-initiative in me? That experience empowered me to study my college subjects one semester ahead on my own.
That experience enabled me to build life changing businesses without waiting for someone to teach me on the ground and without attending any workshop or seminar. It was and has always been me, the computer, the internet, and the people whom I’ve chosen to work with. If I want to make things happen, I simply make them happen. I won’t procrastinate and wait for some people to contact and partner with me just to get things started. I just start and make things happen in my own place and in my own time.
It’s funny and amazing how the things that annoyed me most sharpened and improved me beyond my expectation. What’s most amazing is that God was, and has been, very patient in waiting for me to see the message in my mess and the triumph in my trials. Today, my tests have become my testimonies. I am like a pearl. I am a previous product of the dusts that annoyed and irritated the giant clam.
Listen. Don’t wait for the emcee of social standards to say, “Let’s give [your name] a big round of applause.” Clap your hands for yourself. Tap yourself at the back. Treat yourself. Buy yourself some flowers. Award yourself some trophies. You are a miracle happening day and night!
Once you have realized, embraced, accepted, and marinated your heart and mind with this way of believing and thinking, you’ll live a happier life. There’s no need to find your validation on others. You have already been validated and approved by the Quality Control Manager of it all – God.
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